Den 5 Puppet show

Characters:

• Indiana Jones (Cameron)
• Batman (Aidan)
• The Joker (Dillon)
• Two-Face (no one yet)
• Mutt Williams (Reed)
• Short Round (Jorge)
• Penguin (Nathan)
• Commissioner Gordon (Ryder)
• Ronald McDonald, also narrator (Skyler)
• ? (Anthony)

Opening:

• Narrator introduces the characters
• Batman, Commissioner, Short Round stay up. (All others down.)

Scene 1: Jungle

• Narrator: "Batman and Commissioner Gordon are in the jungle getting the Crystal Skull."
• Commissioner Gordon: "We are looking for the crystal skull."
• Short Round (sings, everybody joins in)
• Skull appears during song
• Commissioner: "We have found the crystal skull."
• Batman: "It'll fetch a good price in Gotham." I need to upgrade the Batmobile. Loud speakers, GPS....
• Commissioner Gordon: Ahem. The Hall Of Justice could use an entertainment center, especially a Wii system.
• Short: I want a Wii!
• Batman: It's a popular game system.
• Short: No, I gotta go wee!
• Commissioner: Then go!
• Short: Whee! Whee!
• Pinocchio (appears)
• Commissioner: "You're not in this story."
• Pinocchio: "But I just wanted to be a real boy... Scout."
• Batman: Let's get this to Gotham.
• Batman and Commissioner (down)
• Short Round goes and gets...
• Indiana Jones and Mutt (up).
• Short Round: "They got the skull."
• Indiana Jones: "That belongs in a museum."
• Penguin (up): "So do you."
• Mutt: "Who are you?"
• Penguin: "Oswald Cobbletop. Cobblewald Ozpot. Cobblestone tabletop. Oh, just call me Penguin. It fits the tuxedo."
• Mutt: "What's a penguin doing in a jungle?"
• Penguin: "I don't like cold weather."
• Indiana: "Let's get that skull!"
• Short: "Fortune and glory"

• Narrator: Leave with Batwing on ocean

Scene 2: Bahamas

• Narrator: "Indiana Jones, Mutt Williams, Short Round, and the Penguin get lost and find themselves in the Bahamas."

• Mutt: We're trying to get to Gotham City.
• Short Round: I can find it. I got my Map And Compass belt loop!
• Penguin: "You got a map?"
• Short: "Yep."
• Penguin: "You got a compass?"
• Short: "Nope."
• Indiana: "Let's find a Quickie Mart. They have everything."
• Mutt: "Good idea. And I'm thirsty. Let’s get a Squishee."
• Indiana: "Those are only in Springfield."
• Mutt: "That's just outside of Gotham!"
• Indiana: "The other Springfield. Where Bart Simpson lives."
• Mutt: "Oh, that one."
• Joker (up): "What do you guys need? I got exploding slurpees, clown masks, ski hoods..."
• Short: "We just need a compass."
• Joker: "An exploding one?"
• Short: "No."
• Joker: "An acid-quirting one?"
• Short: "No. Just a regular one."
• Joker: "You guys are boring. Why... so... serious?"
• Mutt: "Because you're frightening us."
• Joker: "Here's your compass. Why do you need it?"
• Mutt: "Don't ask questions to things that have answers you don't want to know."
• Penguin: "Wrong movie."
• Joker: "But I do want to know. Really. Please?"
• Penguin: "No."
• Joker: "Pretty please?"
• Penguin: "No."
• Joker: "Pretty please with sugar on it."
• Penguin: "Well, okay. I have a sweet tooth. We need to get the Crystal Skull, and it's in Gotham City."
• Short (up): "Hold on to your potatoes."

Intermission (bag puppets):

• Narrator: "Will the audience please open your programs and join us in the intermission song."

Scene 3: Gotham City

• Narrator: "Batman and Commissioner Gordon have arrived in Gotham City. The Commissioner has gone to his office, so the Joker attempts to get Batman to give to him the Crystal Skull."
• Joker: "Can I have the Skull?"
• Batman: "No."
• Joker: "Please?"
• Batman: "No."
• Joker: "Pretty please?"
• Batman: "No."
• Joker: "Pretty please with sugar on it?"
• Batman: "What kind of sugar?"
• Joker: "Cinnamon."
• Batman: "No. It makes me sneeze."
• Joker: "Okay. This guy goes into a bar."
• Batman: "I've heard that one."
• Joker (loud and mean): "Why so serious?"
• Batman: "Because your jokes are so bad. You need to go on a Scout campout and learn some good potty skits. Ever heard Bow No Move?"
• Joker: "I'll have to learn that one."
• Batman: "Here, take this medication and come back in a week."
• Joker (leaves, sad)

Scene 4: Batcave

• Narrator: "Indiana Jones has found the way to the Batcave and has taken the skull."
• Boulder chases Indiana
• Indiana: "I hate caves"
• Batman chases Indy with Batmobile
• Narrator: "The Joker has filled Batman's wheels with laughing gas."
• Batman starts laughing
• Everyone sings "dun-a nun-a dun-a nun-a Bat-man" (twice)
• Narrator: "The Penguin pops the Batmobile tires."
• Batman: "All my tires are flat."
• Geico gecko: "You should have got Geico."
• Indiana: "Run!"
• Indiana, Short Round, Mutt, and the Penguin run.
• Batman, Commissioner Gordon, and the Joker chase them.
• Narrator: "The chase ends at McDonald's.

Scene 5: McDonald's

• Narrator: "It turns out Ronald McDonald is the Joker's brother."
• Joker: "We're famous."
• Short Round: "I want a happy meal; they have Lego Batman."
• Batman "Cool. We're famous."

• "I don't have enough money."

"You have the Crystal Skull. Use it to pay for lunch."

Ronald: "We just take cash here. Do I need to call the cops?"

• Commissioner: "I am the cops. Maybe I should confiscate the skull for evidence."
• "That's what Boss Hogg does."
• "Talk to the hand."

• "Super size me!"

• "This beef is good."
• "I'm lovin' it"

• Joker: "Some guy named Bow said not to take any medicine, especially when they say, come back in a week."

• Commissioner Gordon: "Where's Robin? He's at Jack In The Box. Says that clown is funnier."
• Ronald: "That's our cousin Jack."

Short Round lines "Whoa! Crash landing!" "Short Round, step on it!"

"I want one."

Ronald: "I need some help back here. Brother"

• Commissioner Gordon: "I think my arteries just clogged
• Ronald McDonald: "And you thought this was face paint; it's poor circulation."
• Penguin: "That's why I prefer pickles herring."
• "Who wants pickled herring? ANyone in the audience want pickles herring?"
• (Throw candy.)